“What am I to do or be as a Christian mom?” For this post, I’m sharing something that I wrote for a homeschool organization a few years ago on this question that many moms ask themselves.
Many books have been written about this topic of mission or purpose, detailing various lists of things for moms to aim for.
Sometimes those lists can be helpful; but other times, those lists of “how” principles “should be applied in a mom’s life” can instead distract us from what the Bible itself teaches us is important about our mission/purpose.
And that can, in turn, discourage some who do not fit the typical mold of what the ‘average’ mom in North America might look like. Or these lists can overwhelm especially young moms who did not grow up having a godly woman as a mom in their own lives.
Homeschool families tend to collect books – lots of books! And while many of these are for the children’s sake and for their education, sometimes shelves can get overloaded with books for parents for “how-to” be or do life “properly”. The same can happen with a favourites bar or list of podcasts to “try to apply”.
Where is the clarity? And do we need tons of books or seminars to figure out how to be Christian wife and mom?
I think the answer can be simpler than what many are telling women these days.
What I wanted to do for my answer to this question was back right up to what the Bible gives for our general purpose in life and to see this question/answer from more of a panoramic view. And I wanted to keep it applicable for a Christian mom —
- in ANY culture – across the street or around the world, urban or rural or remote
- in ANY time period (Bible times to present-day or future)
- in ANY health or financial condition (e.g. healthy, energetic, disabled, illness in family, poverty, well-to-do)
- at ANY age/stage (expectant moms, moms of preschoolers, moms of teens, moms of small or large families, retired moms; even Christian moms in nursing homes). We may sometimes hear the statement that there is no retirement from being a mom. There is also the statement that there is no retirement from being a Christian.
- So, what overall mission/purpose can hold true for a mom who wants to live a godly life?
A Christian mom’s purpose is to proclaim and live God’s truth in the strength He provides and for His honour. All other details of her God-given role can fit under this general purpose.
(And yes, this general purpose is the same for Christian dads and other Christians too. But I’m writing this post with Christian moms in mind here.)
There also has been a good summary of mission/purpose over the years in a statement historically associated with “The Navigators” (a ministry with which both my mom and my mom-in-law did a Bible memory program): “To know Christ and to make Him known”.
A few years ago when I was on a leadership team with the organization for homeschooling parents called, “Teach Them Diligently” (TTD), each of us on that team was asked to write about a mom’s mission (purpose) for something TTD was sharing with their audience.
(I’m not longer on that team although I’m considered an occasional ‘mentor mom’ in that group. If you are a mom who is interested in joining the TTD365 year-round membership of encouragement, you can get $30 off with coupon code “JOY” at this link. (It is a non-affiliate link; I do not receive commission for telling you about it.)
Below is essentially my submitted article, reworked a bit, shared with you here with TTD’s permission.
The Mission (Purpose) of a Christian Mom
Jesus told His disciples, “As the Father has sent Me, so send I you.” (John 20:21) 1
He will enable all that for which He has sent. As a young mom, I used to remind myself, “For that task ahead, God will either provide the strength for me to accomplish it, or the helper(s) to come alongside to help me do it, or I wasn’t supposed to do it.”
Trust and obey:
Christians are living here for the purpose of being and doing all that the Lord wants us to be and do.
In addition to getting to know Christ more in a personal relationship, our task is to be surrendered to humble obedience to God’s Word (the Bible) and to the guidance of the Holy Spirit (which will, of course, remain consistent with the inspired canon of Scripture).
Never alone to do His work:
God’s promise to guide us into truth (John 16:13) assures us that He has not left us alone to flounder around seeking but unable to know what we are supposed to do.
We are ambassadors, workers together with God – co-labourers, not alone (1 Cor. 3:9, 2 Cor. 4-6.)2
What is God’s will for me?
Start today by doing what you already know about what God wants.
As you continue to learn more from His Word, you can grow in applying it more. 3
Be less concerned about the things not mentioned in the Bible – the things which are left as personal choices and not directed in Scripture for believers to do, for example, what cereal to feed your kids or if you’re to try a certain approach to education. As you walk in His grace, many of the details of “what to do” will fall into place.
Remember not to seek ‘what to do’ to the detriment of seeking Him!
The Christian Mission:
Identical, Universal –
All true believers in Christ (Christians) have been given the same mission from which all other godly goals and activities must fall under.
This is summed up by our Lord Jesus quoting from the Old Testament in Matthew 22:37-40 and in giving what we know as the Great Commission (Matthew 28:18-20, Mark 16:15, Acts 1:8).
“The Mission” is a song by Steve Green; here are a few lines of it:
“To love the Lord our God is the heartbeat of our mission,
The spring from which our service overflows;
Across the street or around the world, the mission’s still the same:
Proclaim and live the truth in Jesus’ Name.”4
God calls us to multiple smaller “mission assignments” within our various roles but ALL will point back to our main mission that is not dependent on our age/season or geolocation or abilities!
Individual, Diversity, and Choices –
God sometimes (but not always) weaves our personalities and interests into what He wants us to do in life’s work.
He sometimes choose circumstances which are different for each of us (e.g. Acts 17:26-27).
And He guides us how to respond to those things. In the Bible, He gives us many principles to know how to be a godly parent, a satisfied servant, a teacher of good things, and choosing what is right.
Beyond His written Word, He gives us choices along with the ability to discern in fellowship with His Spirit for what is wise or foolish or what is “not as great” where we need to consider what our priorities should be.
Sometimes God wants to stretch us further than our own interests and ideas, to show us something else instead. Life isn’t about living for “self”, as we please. God’s goal is to make us Christ-like (Romans 8:29, 2 Cor. 3:18, Col. 3:10, Eph. 1:4, John 17). It’s not really about making us happily fulfilled in self-interests and dreams for ‘a good life’, even though walking with the Lord does bring us delight and joy in our lives.
But the impact of our mission (purpose) is dulled when –
The impact of our mission to those we are trying to reach is dulled…
- when we allow sin and the world’s distractions to hinder or blur God’s direction for us
- when we lose our “first love” desire for Christ Himself
- when we turn our attention away from learning and Biblically-applying the Word of God.
Neglecting things of “first importance” pulls us down spiritually, so it is good to remember some things which are not as valuable to focus our life on as perhaps they might seem to be!
Applications of Our Purpose –
Here are three examples of applications of our purpose/mission –
Example 1:
To love God and proclaim (in word and living example) His truth as a Christian is greater than trials and disappointments.
Yes, it’s true that I identify as a mom with medical conditions. But I identify MORE as a Christian who loves God and desires to make Him known. My identity and value is that I’ve been made to reflect God’s character and be an example of His working in me.
It’s best if I prioritize God’s call in my life and remember that He will supply all that I really need to accomplish what He wants for me to be and do (Philippians 4:19).
So, what do I really need?
I find all of that answer in the Word of God. Things I think “I need” are marketed to me by businesses, ministries, or my peers’ expectations. It’s good to remember what a “need” is versus “a want”. (And yes, of course, I’m thankful for good choices for “wants” too.)
- Do we “need” more friends for us or our family or just “want” more friends for us/them?
- Can we trust God with what we need, when we truly need it, and wait while continuing to love and serve Him?
In disappointments, I want to remember less of “I can’t” and more of “I can at least do this” (although there is also a point to acknowledging the reality of limitations).
One of my prayers from when I was young was that God’s beauty/character (Isaiah 61:3, Psalm 90:17) would be seen in me – that He’d grant me a shining face (Matthew 5:16), the fragrance of Christ (2 Corinthians 2:14-16), and beautiful feet (Romans 10:15, Isaiah 52:7).
My physical circumstances can show ugliness, but God’s character never needs to be hidden.
Where has God placed you? In a hospital bed, a different country, a difficult neighbourhood, a church where you faith is tested?
Shine for Jesus where you are! He may lead you to someplace else in your life but, in the meantime, proclaim and live His truth where you’re at right now, not just when you’re where you want to be.
Example 2:
To love God and proclaim His truth myself as a parent/teacher is greater than material resources.
I won’t just rely on a scripted lesson, a verse that gets mentioned on the page for integrating worldview, or some person or character on a video to tell my child(ren) about God. Psalm 107:2b says, “Let the redeemed of the Lord say so” so we should be readily saying so if we’re redeemed!
Now, I’m happy to work in the area of curriculum design, but curriculum and media aren’t a substitute parent – these are only tools to teach some things such as practical knowledge, explanations, and skills. Material resources can help save time and effort for lessons and some are obviously needed to accomplish your work effectively.
But no tool has a personal relationship with the student and none can replace the discipleship role of parents. For this reason, I encourage parents to seek the Lord themselves for what portion of Scripture is taught at a particular time in their family, rather than thinking that curriculum and/or media will automatically disciple their children for them. Even Christian schools and Sunday schools cannot take the place of spiritual training by parents.
The mission of teaching your children the Word of God and telling of His redemption is something which ALL Christian parents are expected and equipped to do (even if they aren’t able to teach math or mechanics well).
Two friends of mine had a father in prison for his faith (as a pastor) in another country. Even though they were absent physically from each other, my friends learned of God’s faithfulness from their dad – he taught them by his life.
Christian parenting in discipling children can look different from family to family. But do not neglect this kind of God’s work that is for YOU to do. (You can read more about teaching children the Bible in a series of posts on our website here and here.)
Example 3:
To truly love God with all my heart/mind, soul, and strength is greater than education.
Attractive habits, academic knowledge, and talented skills can be good. But if we’re just working towards good things in our homes and neglecting our relationship with Christ Himself, we have changed our mission to be more about what we do and less about Who we are serving with!
Don’t narrow down your life of Christian experience to just homeschooling or parenting.
Education should not be “our life”. Even family should not be “our life”. Christ is our life (Colossians 3:4a, Deuteronomy 30:20, John 14:6).
He is the One we proclaim. Jesus, my Saviour and God, must take first place in my life, not my works of service. Knowing Him – there is no greater thing (Philippians 3:8-10). Surrendering my life to Him – this is my reasonable service (Romans 12:1-2). I give my life back to Him, for Him to do something with it, in my family, church, and community.
Susanna Wesley is perhaps a familiar name to you since she raised several children, teaching them at home with much spiritual training.
But, like Nicodemus, religious fervor is not enough to enter the kingdom of God (John 3, cf. Isaiah 58:5-7). Here is a piece of her story which is less known and which I find most memorable:
“Since the time she had been a little girl, she had only attended [a church] where the emphasis was strongly on works. As she spent more time with John [in his adult years], Susanna became aware of the change that had come over both Charles and John. They now had confidence and assurance of salvation… They trusted that salvation was “a gift of God, not of works”, and that it was for “whosoever believeth”. One Sunday, as she sat in the meeting house listening to a guest speaker, Susanna heard the phrase, “The blood of our Lord Jesus Christ which was given for thee.” Suddenly, she felt her heart struck by the profound truth that “God, for Christ’s sake, hath forgiven you.” Her salvation didn’t depend on how good a person she had been – it was the work of Christ on the cross that saved her from eternal separation from God! It was His work, and nothing more. She had to confess that sometimes she had acted like her salvation was dependent on her success or failure as a mother. Bowing her head silently, she let the tears stream down her face. “Oh Lord, I have known You all these years and yet I have never been hit so deeply by the fact that my salvation has nothing to do with my works. I have tried so hard to live a life that is pleasing to You and to teach my children to do the same. Yet, that isn’t enough. You are so holy and so perfect that nothing I could ever do would gain me the right to know You. Thank-You that in Your perfect plan, You sent me a Rescuer, Your Son Jesus Christ…”5
“I will rest beneath the shadow of my Heav’nly Father’s wings,
And as I trust His plan and purpose
My soul within me sings!
The Lord Almighty watches o’er me –
O to love Him all my days,
My time, my life, my all I give,
Surrendered to His ways.” 6
For to me, to live is Christ – to know Him, love Him, proclaim Him. May He be seen in me.
Footnotes:
- You might want to look up a Canadian hymn entitled, “So Send I You” (Clarkson/Peterson). While it is a song usually used to describe career missionaries, the words often fit also with any mission, including that of being a homeschool mom. It was written by a young teacher feeling isolated and unable then realized God’s truth and strength in the midst of her circumstances. This story is recorded at a website I like to go to for hymn history – https://wordwisehymns.com/2016/04/29/so-send-i-you-2nd-version/ ↩︎
- For further study on 2 Corinthians and the role of the Christian on mission for Christ, I love the sermon series by Ian Leitch entitled, “Ministers of the New Covenant”. Mr. Leitch was involved with Moody Bible Institute, various Bible conferences/camps, and a ministry in Scotland. The other two series there on the topic of our role as a Christian which have greatly impacted my life as a teen, young wife/mom, and now as an older wife/mom, are Bob Dowie’s “What Manner of Person Ought We to Be?” and Charles U. Wagner’s series on “The Holy Spirit”. You can find these sermon audios (for free) on “The Word in Our Hearts” website (our ministry website). ↩︎
- If you’re wondering about how to understand God’s mission assignment(s) for your life in the sense of personal direction (e.g. for work or moving decisions or similar), one of the good places to find written help with this topic is https://www.cru.org/us/en/train-and-grow/spiritual-growth/how-to-know-gods-will.html . ↩︎
- The Mission, sung by Steve Green at this link. ↩︎
- Quoted from part 2 of “Filling a Little Space: The Susanna Wesley Story” , produced by Bible Visuals International and told on their YouTube channel and flashcard story (link for Part 1 here). ↩︎
- Quoted from a poem by myself, the author (Joy) ↩︎
- The Mission, sung by Steve Green at this link. ↩︎
Additional comments on this topic:
So what is a Christian mom to be or do, according God and His Word? (not just according to well-meaning authors of books or speakers for Christian women, homeschool parents, etc.)
Many moms get discouraged if they can’t seem to do or be some things on someone’s list of ideals of what a “godly mom” would be like. Their overwhelm can flow from expectations which sound good (and perhaps are good and doable for some godly moms), but are only ideas and not necessary to be a godly mom.
How can we know what suggestions we think or hear about for moms to be or do are important to aim for or only suggestions?
Take those ideas you’re considering to God and ask Him to guide you in what to be or do as a mom! Prayerfully consider if the particular idea fits under the “mission umbrella” AND if the opposite idea also fits.
- If both fit, the idea is likely only a cultural or personal expression.
- You could consider doing that suggestion yourself; or you could choose something better for your situation.
- You can live with the freedom of not hanging onto someone’s expectation and getting discouraged at failing at it.
The lists of Christian expectations, of the kind which are not really found being practiced by godly women in the Bible but instead are from more-recent times, CAN be a help and encouragement from older women to younger women or from sister to sister. Or these expressions CAN be downright distractions, pouring a rainstorm and causing disasters to some moms because such can feel like a heavy burden which the Lord never has instructed women to carry.
My own mom saw these things over the years and so have I. While sometimes there are helpful ideas in books instructing women from a Christian perspective, my mom also encouraged me to lay aside “those books” and spend more of my time picking up the greater Book….to prioritize the Bible more than the ‘mom-to-mom’ sharing of ideas, which are usually a mixture.
- This didn’t mean she didn’t suggest books or authors. (She loved books!) But she wanted to instill the value of remaining on a Biblical foundation, not just on a ‘Christian perspective’ of parenting – and to be careful to understand the difference!
With your decisions as a mom for what you are or do, stay under the ‘umbrella’ and go back to the Bible for more details. Yes, godly women have a role in speaking into our lives (e.g. Titus 2:3-5) but not the extent that their suggestions are equal to or above what IS taught in the Scripture. Sometimes, they are only giving ideas, which might work and might not.
Are there more specific purposes or directions in the Bible for being a godly parent? Yes, of course, and many times other Christians can point you to those instructions or offer ideas as examples/illustrations of what it looks like for them or someone else they’ve known about. Iron does sharpen iron.
But, like my mom told me, learn to distinguish between what the Bible actually says (and is important for godliness) versus what a person says (which might be only suggestions or examples).
Live out the mission God has given to you, as provided in His Word! Make those things of “first importance”.
“To love the Lord our God is the heartbeat of our mission,
The spring from which our service overflows;
Across the street or around the world, the mission’s still the same:
Proclaim and live the truth in Jesus’ Name.”4